• Han Butler

22 Lessons in 22 Years

Updated: Sep 17, 2019


Photo by Simon Matzinger

I turned 22 in May, and honestly, I'm enjoying it. I think that's mainly down to my change in attitude and outlook towards life. Since turning 18, the universe has really been testing me - what with the miscarriage, the work incident, the depression, the anxiety, the Dystonia, the ptsd, and many other minor life-altering events. There was a moment there where I turned into quite the pessimist - until I changed my attitude and opened my eyes and heart to the good. Don't get me wrong, my change in outlook doesn't reverse all the bad shit that's happened, nor does it stop me from ever feeling low, sad or scared, but it does allow me to see, and reflect, on the lessons that can be taken away from every experience; good and bad.


22 LESSONS IN 22 YEARS


1. Happiness is more important than a job...

...money is important, yes. But so is your health. If you're unhappy with your job, to the point that your mental and physical health is suffering, then it's time to quit!


2. There is no set pace in life...

...nor is their an order in which you should do things. So stop comparing your life to others, and focus on you. We're all just winging it here.


3. Love is the closest thing we have to real magic...

...this is my favourite lesson that I've learnt, so much so that I got it tattooed down my spine. Love is all that is good in this world - so don't take people's love for granted. It's a gift, cherish it.


4. Life is too damn short to keep saying yes to shit you hate...

...you're not being rude by saying no. It's okay to be selfish sometimes as long as you're not hurting someone. We have limited time on this earth so make sure you're doing what you want to do.


5. Fuck labels! They don't mean shit...

...be who you want, when you want, with whomever you want. A label can't define a person or feeling. All labels do is divide us.


6. Being a feminist is common sense...

...believing in equality for all is common sense.


7. Friends come and go, and that's ok...

...not everyone who enters your life is supposed to stay.


8. Don't waste time chasing perfection...

...it's pointless and underwhelming.


9. There's no such thing as saying "I love you" too much...

...we never know if our loved ones will still be here tomorrow, so never miss the opportunity to make sure they know how much they're loved.


10. Nothing, that's worth something, is easy...

...whether it be relationships, friendships, career or hobbies - if you want to make it a success, you have to work for it.


11. There's always going to be someone who is more attractive and smarter than you...

...be sure to remember that before you put somebody else down to feed your own ego.


12. People's opinions do not define your worth...

...it's a fact that there will always be people who don't like you. I have family that don't even like me. They will talk about you and make you feel small, but their opinions don't matter, nor do they change who you are.


13. Life isn't fair...

...I learnt this one the hard way. Bad things will happen to good people, as will good things happen to bad people. It's unfair, but that's how it is. It's a harsh reality check that everyone needs to accept.


14. Always pee after sex...

...ladies, I know it's annoying to have to run to the bathroom straight after sex but do it. Because UTI's (urinary tract infection) are a bitch - as we all know.


15. There is something to be learned from every person you meet...

...that is definitely something to be grateful for.


16. If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got...

...if something isn't working or if it's causing you pain - change it. If you continue on the same track you'll only end up back in the same place.


17. You don't always need a logical reason for doing everything in your life...

...do it because you want to, because it's fun, because it makes you happy.


18. Walking away from something unhealthy is brave...

...never let anyone tell you otherwise. If something is toxic - whether it be your job, relationship, family or friends - it's time to remove it from your life.


19. A person isn't defined by their illness...

...a person has a heart, a mind, a personality, and dreams, despite their illness. They have an illness, they aren't an illness.


20. There isn't a single person on earth who is entitled to treat you like shit...

...remember that. Don't allow people to talk to you with zero respect. Likewise, treat others how you wish to be treated.


21. People don't always have your best interests at heart...

...I'm not saying be paranoid when people are nice, but just be careful. Make sure they're helping you for the right reasons.


22. Kindness costs nothing...

...you have absolutely no reason to be a dick towards people that don't deserve it. Be kind. It's not hard to do.


What valuable lessons have you learnt? I'd love to know!


Love, Han


xo



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