• Han Butler

7 Steps To Take Your Sex Life From 'OK' to Orgasmic!

Updated: Sep 17, 2019

[ Photo by ValeriyaBoltneva ] [ Editing by Me ]

Sex with your partner does wonders for your emotional, physical and mental health. Many studies have shown that having a happy sex life helps you live a happier and healthier life. If you're not reaping those benefits, then that probably means you're not completely happy with your sex life right now. That doesn't mean you and your partner aren't meant for each other, it could be down to numerous reasons, such as: because the relationship is new and you haven't quite clicked sexually yet; or because you've been together for years and the spark has gone; or maybe it's because you're new to sex in general and you don't know what makes you tick yet. Whatever the reason may be for the ok sex you're having, it can probably be fixed! Many people fail to reach the full potential of a great sex life, but I don't want you to be one of those people.



Whether you're doing it solo or with your partner, you need to explore your sexuality and find what makes you tick; because how can you expect your partner to satisfy you if you don't know what helps you achieve maximum orgasm yourself. Experiment - use toys or try new positions. You'll both find what works for you.


Stop faking your orgasms, and acting like you enjoyed it just as much as your partner - that doesn't help you or them. Communicate. You shouldn't be afraid to have an open conversation with each other about what you both like and don't like. Don't criticise them, this should be a conversation about how you can both improve your sex life; not about what they've been doing wrong. Knowing exactly what each other wants will definitely make for great sex!


Sex is a two-way street, so it's important to make sure that you're both enjoying it. It's okay to tell each other during sex if you want to change positions to make it more pleasurable for you, and if you want to take a break in the middle to do more foreplay. Paying attention to each other's needs and desires during sex will most definitely kick it up a notch.


Many people are still under the illusion that having to use lubrication is a bad thing, which is completely untrue. The fact is, no matter how 'in the mood' someone is, sometimes a vagina's natural lubrication just isn't enough. Natural dryness, even when aroused, is completely normal and common at any age. There's absolutely nothing wrong with using lube, in fact it can make the whole sexual experience SO much better - for both of you.


Anticipation can really spice up anyone's sex life. Try telling your partner what you want to do with them that night before they leave for work in the morning, that'll leave them thinking about it all day and you'll both be practically bursting with anticipation when you get home that evening. You could even send them a few texts throughout the day to add to the sexual tension.


If you find that your sex life has been affected by you just not being in the mood - maybe because you've been in work all day, or because you've been looking after the kids - then I'd definitely recommend a sensual massage. Light a few candles, get the massage oils out and let your partner give you a relaxing massage. It not only get's you in the mood, but creates a level of intimacy between you that leads to a very sensual and romantic night.


Sometimes sex can simply become repetitive. If you're always having sex in bed, try another part of the house. I know it sounds simple, but it's effective. Even just joining your partner in the shower could really reignite that spark and make sex exciting again.

If you're feeling really spontaneous, take it outside of your house - the slightest risk of getting caught could really spice things up between the two of you.

I hope you've found my steps helpful - now go have mind-blowing sex...you deserve it!

. . .

Love, Han


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