• Han Butler

Bloggers Uncensored: with Frugal Bride to Be

Photo by Negative Space

Welcome to this weeks Bloggers Uncensored! This is my latest and favourite blog series that I've created. This series is an opportunity for you to hear your favourite bloggers' honest, uncensored, thoughts about real life topics. This weeks blogger is Hannah Coe from Frugal Bride to Be.

Tell us a little about yourself.

I described myself earlier today actually as an excited child - or puppy, very lively and energetic and if you give me a task I can sink my teeth into I will get straight on to it. I'm currently launching a Christmas product at work (I don't care if it's 'too early' for that word) and I love it so no doubt my posts may start to show a certain little Christmassy feel.

Why do you write?

I suppose I write now just to talk about random shizz, I definitely started to blog to try and share my money saving tips and share my freebie finding tips with people but this has started to feel like a job and I'm not enjoying it as much, whereas if I can just write whatever I'm feeling about at that moment it works for me, almost like a little I diary I suppose.

Why did you start blogging?

Oh, well I kinda answered this in the question about but it was to share money saving and freebie tips.

What do you love about the blogging world/community?

You can meet an talk to people from all walks of life and you feel like you can have a random conversation whenever, I love logging on to my phone and finding messages or comments from other people.

What do you hate about the blogging world/community?

Sometimes I feel a bit like a seahorse baby, one of the millions fighting hard for survival knowing that I may not last the course.

In your opinion, who are the most underrated bloggers?

I'm not exactly the most experienced in this...I think everyone is rated because there are so many different topics that people blog about and for those with similar niches they will link the most closely with. Therefore those you don't relate with will probably feel 'underrated' because they are not as relevant to yourself. Not quite sure if that answer actually makes any sense...

What are some hard truths you have learnt about life?

If you don't ask you won;t get...I used to absolutely hate brown nosers but recently I have committed the cardinal sin and almost joined them...not quite so much as many but in order to progress in my chosen career I have realised that I need to ask for a pay rise, a promotion and keep on and on asking. If this means that I need to agree to a few ideas that I normal wouldn't and I suppose work others harder and expect more from them to work better then I will do. If anything this has made me realise my potential more, challenge myself and others which has in turn meant that my leadership skills have improved! But yeah definitely there's no harm in asking for what you want, the worse that can happen is that you get a no.

What does freedom mean to you?

Being able to live the life I want, have freedom to do what you want, when you want to do it. I love the fact that when me and my partner get the time off together we will do whatever we want, yes we probably spend more than we need to on occasions but as my fella says "you can't take it with you so you might as well enjoy things while you can."

What are your thoughts on mental health and how it's portrayed in today's society?

It definitely has a much more positive portrayal nowadays and people are a lot more aware, however this has also created the opportunity for people to misuse and pretend or exaggerate things to benefit themselves. This is maybe my opinion because I know of people who have made things up in order to gain from them, whether it being time off work, extra money or just getting sympathy from others - and this is a fact, not just something I've assumed. But if anything I feel that this makes the whole scenario worse for the people who are actually struggling and working through mental health. Maybe we should look at ways to recover from mental health and look at it from a different angle, instead of us feeling sorry for people maybe we should actively go out there and cheer people up, silly things like saying 'good morning' as you walk past someone in the street can make a massive difference to their day!

What are your thoughts on feminism and how it's portrayed in today's society?

To be honest, very controversial here but I think it's a whole storm in a tea cup here, yes feminism used to be a big issue, yes there are more men in high power jobs than women, but yes women do give birth to children and it is a factor of life that their careers may suffer because they take time out to have children where the men can progress at work - but aren't these same men the ones bringing home the ones so that the mum's can afford to stay at home and look after the children? At the end of the day if you want to achieve the greatest of the great and be at the top of the top you will do whatever you can to get there...it isn't just women that make the decision to not have kids because they want to progress their career, some men do this too. Some men stay home to look after the kids while the mum goes to work. Everyone is an individual and everyone should be treated as exactly that. Why should we all be equal when we are constantly fighting that we all individuals in the world. Don't even get me started on the whole gender pay gap issue, it's a big old moan about nothing. Look at the pilots, they say the average male in the airways receives a higher wage than women, when there are more men in pilot jobs than females - a fact that airways have tried to address! Of course the males are going to be paid more. People were moaning that they work the tills and should get paid the same as men working in the stock rooms - well no, they are two completely different jobs, if you both worked on the tills then yes you should get paid the same but if not then no. There are pay ladders and 'careers' for a reason. Those that work the hardest should get paid the most regardless of their gender.

What are your thoughts on 'Love is Love' and how it's portrayed in today's society?

This is a very blase saying, love is a lot of things and saying love is love is almost like a shrug to me. Love is so much, there are no words to fully describe love and how you feel for those that you do love. The fact that I've written love so many times is really making me want to watch Love Actually! Love is after all, all around!

What advice would you give to someone who is fighting a mental illness?

I don't think I would give any advice because I feel like i'm almost unqualified to. I find honesty is the best option and when people have come to me seeking advice I will tell them what I feel and if I don't know what to say I will tell them. Often I find if you can just be and ear to people, a hug and a shoulder to cry on if needed then this can be a help to them.

What advice would you give to someone who is being bullied or harassed?

As someone who used to suffer quite badly from this, all I can really say is that it really is a pretty shoddy situation and place to be...it sucks! But ultimately the time will pass and as long as you are yourself, the people who matter will like you for who you are. I now have a small but really nice bunch of friends from so many different places, none of these are from school but I don't feel like I'm missing out. At school I tried to fit in and pretend to be whereas this stopped as I grew up. Life teaches you lots of lessons but I think you should always be the real version of you.

If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?

Oh this is a tough one! Actually really random but chalk. I can't stand the stuff, the feel of it, the sound of it...ugh just makes me shudder.

What else do you feel strongly about?

I feel strongly about so much! When you start thinking about it you can just reel off loads and loads! At the moment my main priority thought is being happy, I have an amazing fiance, hopefully in line for a promotion - lots of pushing and persuading needed though and generally am really happy with everything. I do sometimes wish though that we could get on with things at our own pace and other people wouldn't pressure and push and prod - this is probably a very common thought or other couples currently planning a wedding! But sometimes I just want to sit back, chill, enjoy life and what we have and not worry about that '5 year plan' and the fact that we should be doing this and then that next year...

Let's end with some fun 'This or That' questions:

Love or money?

Love - easy!

Work hard or play hard?

Oh work hard and then you can play harder! Definitely felt this weekend with a lovely trip away because my partner had worked his arse off for the last month.

Cups in the cupboard: right side up or upside down?

Upside down for glasses, mugs are right side up.

Chocolate or sex?

This is better answered in my head - although very inappropriate images are stirring up right now!

Plan everything or wing it?

I tend to plan things...roughly...then end up winging it anyway (normally because I've lost the plan)

Happiness or money?

Happiness - easy peasy.

You can follower her on Twitter.

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If you'd like to take part in Bloggers Uncensored please email me at safehavenanonymousletters@gmail.com for more info.

There's a new blogger every Sunday at 5pm, see you there!

Love, Han


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