• Han Butler

Bloggers Uncensored: with Theatrical Mess

Photo by Negative Space

Welcome to this weeks Bloggers Uncensored! This is my latest and favourite blog series that I've created. This series is an opportunity for you to hear your favourite bloggers' honest, uncensored, thoughts on real life topics. This weeks blogger is Theatrical Mess.

Tell us a little about yourself.

I'm Bex and I'm a very, very new member of the blogging community. I'm an enthusiastic reader who hardly reads at all, I have a degree in drama. I'm a mental health advocate...and I'm an Aries.

Why do you write?

Mainly because I enjoy it! I write because I like the idea of people laughing with and at me. I was never going to be the kind of writer that others aspire to be, I think what works more is people learning from my mistakes and getting enjoyment out of them! I write to share those stories...trust me I have loads of them!!

Why did you start blogging?

I was inspired by Melanie Murphy. I've been watching her videos for almost a year, I read her book and her blog posts. She helped me so much why my own anxiety and mental health problems that I just thought, wouldn't it be great if I could do that for someone else. It also just...made sense. I mean I'm not fashion forward, I can't do makeup or hair - but I have a lot to say. I'm opinionated but it's difficult when sometimes you don't feel like your voice is heard? Blogging has given me a platform, it's given me an outlet - and I'm very grateful for it!

What do you love about the blogging world/community?

Everyone is so supportive and encouraging. Maybe I'm still learning, but so far I haven't seen any bitchiness or one blogger try to sabotage the other. I thought my twitter account would take weeks to get to 100 followers, but I've already smashed my goal - and then some. My growth has more to do with the people in the blogging world than my own posts. That doesn't really promote my content - but it's true!

What do you hate about the blogging world/community?

I don't think this is 'blogger' specific, I think this happens everywhere in social media. It's really difficult making friends or getting to know people. Liking and replying to blog posts and tweets is so much easier than actually messaging a person. For me, everyone is so picture perfect and of course it's staged but their looks are so professional and I find it a little intimidating. I'd love to make friends here, but I feel like they'd take one look at my blog or my profile picture or the photos I take (on my phone because I have no money for a camera) and would just... not want to know me AT ALL. Or not take me seriously, and for me personally that's worse.

What are some hard truths you have learnt about life?

Sometimes you don't get what you deserve. Sometime you work really hard and put all the effort in and your work gets little or no recognition. I'd still rather put all my energy into my work because I set my own standards and don't work by what people think of me.

Don't change yourself do anyone. There was a time when I didn't even know who I was because I was acting differently around people because I thought "oh if they see me like this I might embarrass them or they won't want to know me." Don't do that. If people are embarrassed by you, they're not worth your time. When I was younger I was really into vintage clothing, I put my hair in pin curls like they did in the 40s and I wore tea dresses because they made me feel cute. I didn't wear my hair like that in school until much later because I was scared about what my friends would think. The ones that made fun of my style - weren't my friends.

What does freedom mean to you?

Being the best person you can be without judgement. Not being held back because of who you are and having equal opportunities as everyone else.

What are your thoughts on mental health and how it's portrayed in today's society?

Thinking about how mental health is viewed makes me sad. There's been some real achievements, but then I see people, young people in particular, being told that their mental illness isn't valid or that they shouldn't be talking about it on social media? Who are we to decide what a person should censor if it's about their own life? If you want to talk about your mental health, if you need a platform or a voice - then absolutely. I think that talking about mental health is important because if we can talk about it in a blog, or post about it on social media - then we're giving someone the courage to go to the doctor. to go see a therapist. To admit that maybe they aren't well and that they need help. I think that some mental illnesses are more widely accepted than others and right now society need to focus on making all illnesses a priority - not just the ones that they deem worthy.

What are your thoughts on feminism and how it's portrayed in today's society?

The problem with feminism right now isn't feminism. It's the people who claim to be feminists that aren't. I'm sick of seeing these people who call themselves radical feminists or the TERFS out there who don't view trans women as women. Feminism means equality, equal rights. To the people who say "but it's equality for the sexes" we've established that there is more than male or female. We shouldn't be fighting amongst each other saying who get's priority over who.

What advice would you give to someone who is fighting a mental illness?

Don't give up! The fact that you're here right now, that you're still getting through the day even if that means getting out o bed or getting dressed - shows that you're still fighting. Look after yourself. There's no shame in asking for help and if anyone does shame you it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. If they're not your ally then it's their loss. I can't tell you how to fight it because there are so many mental illnesses and there's not just one way to deal with it, but acknowledging your own mental health is the first step.

What advice would you give to someone who is being bullied or harassed?

Talk to someone. It's easier said than done, but years after I was bullied by my teacher - I regret not telling someone. The sooner you tell someone, the sooner it can be dealt with. They're doing this to you because they think they can get away with it and that you'll keep quiet. Let them know how wrong they were, even if it's just telling a family member or friend, someone at work or a teacher (If you're in the same situation I was, most teachers aren't like that.)

If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?

I want to give a deep and meaningful answer like war or conflict because it is something that means a lot to me, but I don't want to get too bogged down. I've already popped a vein talking about mental health and feminism! I'm going to say...basic club music. It's mostly generic and could definitely live without it. There's no other feeling quite like hearing your favourite song in a club and being able to sing and dance to it without judgement!

What else do you feel strongly about?

I'm a bit like Hermione Granger in that I get attached to causes and feel the need to push for voices being heard. I've always been very passionate about armistice day. When I was little if I forgot to buy a poppy pin I'd feel guilty for weeks after and if anyone spoke in the minute of silence I'd glare at them for the rest of the school week.

I've always been a history nerd and I care a lot about WW1 soldiers stories ad that they will always be remembered, I'm the same with the civil rights era in the 60s and the suffragette movement in the early 20th century. One day I'll incorporate all of this into a blog post I swear, though there might not be a lot of interest!

Let's end with some fun 'This or That' questions:

Love or money?

Money. I'm not saying I'd rather be rich than be loved, but I definitely need money a lot more. To quote my favourite drag queens, Bianca Del Rio, "I don't have rent this month, but my boyfriend thinks I'm swell - no get the cash!"

Work hard or play hard?

Work hard! I like keeping busy, and I'm not one for big activities, massive parties or sports. My idea o 'play hard' is an all nighter on Sims 4 with an endless supply of chocolate; I'm not very adventurous!

Cups in the cupboard: right side up or upside down?

Right side up! I put them upside down when they're drying though.

Chocolate or sex?

Chocolate. I didn't even hesitate when I get answered, ha!

Plan everything or wing it?

Anything to do with a journey, or that could trigger my anxiety - I plan. Which is a lot of things because even after dealing with it for so long, it still surprises me!

Happiness or money?

I mean everyone probably thinks I'm cold hearted already by saying I need money more than love - but happiness is important. I'm about to get deep again - but I think the two overlap. I don't need lots and lots of money to be happy, but I do enjoy my comforts and I love being able to treat myself on occasion.

You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.

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If you'd like to take part in Bloggers Uncensored please email me at safehavenanonymousletters@gmail.com for more info.

There's a new blogger every Sunday at 5pm, see you there !

Love, Han


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