• Han Butler

'Confessions Of A Blogger' Challenge


For months now I've been toying with the idea of creating a blogger challenge, but I didn't quite know what to do. Three things came into play when brainstorming ideas: I wanted it to be true to my blog and who I am as a blogger, I didn't want it to be too generic, and I wanted it to be fun for other bloggers. As you may know, my whole brand is largely based on being uncensored and honest, so I wanted that to factor in to the challenge. I believe I came up with a pretty good one for bloggers to enjoy, so I hope you like it!


CONFESSIONS OF A BLOGGER


INTRO

Welcome to the new challenge on the block created by Han, from Safe Haven; Chronicles of a Creative Mess. 'Confessions of a Blogger' is a way for bloggers to talk about things that they don't usually talk about, and for you to learn about your favourite bloggers on a more personal and deeper level. The challenge consists of over 70 questions, in 6 different categories. Hope you enjoy!


RULES

> Include the introduction above (feel free to add your own along with it)

> Thank the person who nominated you.

> List the rules.

> Answer as many of the questions as you can, and as honestly as you can.

> Nominate other bloggers to take on the challenge.

> Enjoy!


QUESTIONS


1. Do you have any nicknames?

Well people tend to call me Han, because Hannah makes me feel like I'm in trouble. Other than that, I get Hannie, Hanbelles, Hansicles, Hannah Montana (but what Hannah doesn't get that right?) and Spanner.


2. Have you ever cried from watching a TV show or a movie?

All the time! It's practically a sport for me at this point.


3. What would you do with one hundred million pound?

Well aside from the obvious - helping my family out, I'd love to really turn my blog into a business to the point where I hire staff. I'd love to have a business where I can give people with mental health issues a place to work where they feel safe, and where they're allowed to have bad days without being pressured by an employer. I'd also like to own an apartment building to house homeless people that focuses on getting them back on their feet and finding a job.


4. If you could have someone else's life for one day, who would it be and why?

Hm, I'd have to say a young girl called Kaycee Rice. She's a phenomenal dancer, and I often regret not continuing dancing when I was younger because I absolutely loved it. I'd sort of like to live the "what if" dream for the day y'know? I picked her, not only because I think she's one of the most talented dancers I've ever watched, but also because her whole brand is about loving yourself and being kind, positive and spreading love - so that's better than being someone for the day who is a complete bitch to people.


5. How many romantic partners do you think you will end up having between now and the end of your life?

Hopefully one. I'm already in love with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.


6. What kind of parent are you, or think you will be?

I think I'd be a stressed mum, but a damn good one. My relationship with mine was rocky to say the least, and I had to grow a very thick skin and grow up quicker - I think it taught me what not to do as a parent.


7. What is something you've never told anyone?

Every night I look at a picture of my Nan who passed nearly 11 years ago, and I say goodnight. Which is strange because I don't believe in people looking over you or anything, so I'm not sure why I still do it.


8. What do you do when you are alone and no one is watching you?

I talk to myself...a lot. I make random noises and weird faces. And occasionally (lies, it's more than occasionally) I cry, for what seems like no reason at all.


9. Are you living a meaningful life?

I think I'm trying to. I don't think I do every day, but I think living a "meaningful life" is something that's defined by each person.


10. What are three things you can't live without?

Not going to give the lame answer and say oxygen, because that's just obvious. I'd say; my loved ones, the internet, (because how else would I blog?) and tea!


11. What or who inspires you the most?

The most; any artist who does what they do with passion and heart.


12. What makes you feel most empowered?

When I stand up for the things I believe in, I'm at my peak of empowerment.


13. Do you live to work or work to live?

I hate to think about that because, really, both options seem shit. We get one life, and the majority of us spend it worrying about how we're going to put food on the table. That's not how it should be.


14. Do you trust anyone with your life?

Honestly there's only one person who I trust completely with my life, and that's my dad. That man would give anything to make sure I'm safe and happy. That's something I get from him, because I would gladly trade my life for that of any person I love.


15. Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

Introvert, 100%.


16. How would your perfect partner treat you?

With respect, compassion and with a sense of loyalty and devotion. Good job I found him already huh?


17. How do you relax and recharge?

Lately it's been laying on the couch, with a nice cuppa and all the food I want, whilst binge-watching Gilmore Girls.


18. What is something you'd like to do or achieve before you die?

There's so many things I want to do and achieve but if there's one thing I've wanted to happen for me since I was a kid, it's to have a family and grow old with someone I love. I'm an independent woman who wants to create her own path, but at the end of the day, I still want the housewife duties and the white picket fence.


19. What offends you?

Close-minded people who try to make me feel like a shit human for not having the same views as them.


20. Have you ever been a smoker?

I have, for a couple years. I wouldn't class myself as a smoker anymore, although I do have one or two if I'm on a night out which is extremely rare these days.


21. What kind of drunk are you?

I'm the one that can still act sober and be responsible. Sometimes I wish that weren't the case.


22. What are your biggest pet peeves?

> People who consistently interrupt me when I'm speaking.

> When people press the button on the bus more than once. The driver just needs to know that he has to stop, not how many people are getting off!

> When people use the last of the toilet roll but don't replace it.

> People who don't have basic manners.


23. What is something you hate about yourself?

How hurt I get sometimes by the smallest actions, or things I see online that don't directly effect me.


24. What do you love about yourself?

That I'm confident with my body, and I don't really care what people think of it anymore.


25. What are your biggest insecurities?

That I'm not good enough. Also my insecurities seem to be heightened in different situations, for example, I'm extremely insecure when my hand/arm is fucked (Dystonia) and I'm out in public. It's embarrassing when someone has to cut my food up for me like I'm 3 years old.


26. In another life, what would you want to be?

I mentioned it earlier on, but probably a dancer. It's the only other thing I've ever had the heart for.


27. Could you live without the internet?

I'd love to say yes and be an old-fashioned soul, but the fact is I couldn't live without it. I'm a blogger, without it I'd be hand writing posts and mailing them to strangers. That's hardly a business.


28. Do you have any tattoo's or piercings? What do you have?

I do, I have 12 tattoos. All of which I absolutely adore. Two of which are quotes; one is on my ribs and it says "Fear doesn't shut me down, it wakes me up", and the other is from the top to the bottom of my spine and it says "Love is the closest thing we have to real magic". I'm planning on doing a little photo shoot of them all soon so that I can make a post. My tattoo's are an extension of who I am as a person, and there are definitely more to come.


Fun fact: I can't feel tattoos. At all. Not a thing. I go asleep whilst they're doing it no probs. I've never been able to feel things pierce my skin, I was always the same way whenever I had to get needles or blood taken.


29. Do you wish you could change your past?

I usually answer no, because I think that maybe if one single thing was different, then I wouldn't have the amazing things I have right now like my boyfriend for example. But I've got to say, if I could go back and change one thing but still be able to come back to where I am now, then I'd have never walked into that hotel. It was the start of life changing health issues, and I'm not grateful for those.


30. What is your guilty pleasure?

This is a super random guilty pleasure, but I love watching Naked Attraction. I find it so entertaining, enlightening and, honestly, I just love seeing so many people of different shapes, sizes and ethnicity's, who are completely confident in their own skin.


31. What are you afraid of?

> I'm afraid of drowning, to the point where I panic if water from the shower falls down on my face.

> I'm afraid of wasps; I actually got attacked by a mutant wasp last month whilst I was in the shower. If it isn't obvious, getting attacked by a wasp whilst you're naked is a terrifying experience.

> I'm afraid of being abandoned by the people I love.


32. If you could change anything about your life, what would it be?

I wish I didn't have Dystonia or shit mental health.


33. Would you consider yourself happy?

I am happy, but I have really bad days.


FIRSTS


34. Tell us about your first kiss:

I wish I had an embarrassing story to tell you all but my first kiss was alright. Not the best by any means but no complaints.


35. Tell us about your first time:

I built it up so much in my head first and I expected pain, blood, awkwardness - but I had a pretty successful first time compared to some of the stories I hear. It was surprisingly easy and afterwards I couldn't understand what all the worrying was about.


Don't go jumping into bed with any old guy though kids; I think my first time was good because it was with someone I trusted.


36. Tell us about your first crush:

My first crush was in primary school and he later turned out to be one of my best friends during high school. He'd defended me on the playground when we were in like Year 3, and I fell hard into that crush!


37. Tell us about your first celebrity crush:

My first celebrity crush was also when I was in Primary school and it's an unusual one - Patrick Swayze. My Nan and Grandad introduced me to Dirty Dancing when I was young and I just loved him. I actually remember crying when he died.


38. Tell us about your first date:

I've "hung out" with guys, but I actually don't count them as dates because it was a casual relationship that we were in. So I count my first date as being with James, my current boyfriend. It was a great date! He kissed me and it was a hell of a kiss because right afterwards, I neglected to look both ways before stepping out on to the road and almost got ran over by a double decker bus. Yep.


39. Tell us about your first relationship:

Again, I count the relationship I'm in now as being my first. There was a couple high school relationships, and then "friends with benefits" relationships, but this one is my first serious one. It's going perfectly. He's the love of my life, no doubt about that. We have a mutual respect for each other and for what a relationship requires.


LASTS


40. Your last relationship: good or bad?

If we're counting my last "friends with benefits" relationship then, both. As far as relationships go it was shit, but we cared for each other (as friends) a lot. It's a pity the friendship had to end, but it was pretty toxic, and I don't have room for that in my life anymore.


41. Your last email?

My last email was from a great website that may be featuring me very soon.


42. The last song you listened to?

Well as I'm typing this I'm listening to "Why" by Shawn Mendes. It's a damn good song from an incredible album if you haven't already listened to it.


43. The last thing you watched on Netflix?

Gilmore Girls! I adore this show, I used to watch it when I was in high school. I'm currently re watching the whole series AGAIN. It makes me feel so warm.


44. The last time you cried?

Today, because a YouTube video kept buffering. I'm on my period - hormones are crazy!


45. The last blog you read?

How To Sleep Well In A Heatwave - Rachael Stray


HAVE YOU EVER?


46. Have you ever gotten back with an ex?

Nope. They're usually an ex for a reason right?


47. Have you ever been cheated on?

Not as far as I know.


48. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Hell no! To quote every Love Island meme of 2018 "I'm loyal babes". If I felt the need to look somewhere else then I shouldn't be in that relationship. Cheating is just fucking disrespectful and there's nothing I hate more.


p.s. I don't actually watch Love Island.


49. Have you ever met someone who changed you?

Definitely! Not always changing me necessarily, but they definitely helped me to grow. My best friends, old work friends, James - they all helped me become the person I am today.


50. Have you ever kissed someone you wish you hadn't?

For sure! Many.


51. Have you ever had your heart broken?

Yes I have, it's not something I'd like to relive.


52. Have you ever broken someone's heart?

I don't think so, I hope not.


53. Have you ever kissed someone on the first date?

Yes, as I mentioned before. It was one hell of a kiss!


54. Have you ever had sex with someone on the first date?

Nope, that I haven't done.


BELIEFS AND OPINIONS


55. Do you believe in God?

Not at all. I never have, I just don't think it's logical and I'm a logical thinker. I think it's great if people do have something to believe in though; just don't like it being preached to me, because it wouldn't change my mind, just piss me off.


56. Do you believe in yourself?

Most days. Sometimes I don't have the same belief in myself that others have in me.


57. Do you believe in ghosts?

I don't know to be honest. I guess I don't not believe in them.


58. Do you believe in aliens?

Green slimy things? No. But it would be naive to think that we're the only life in the whole of the universe.


59. Do you believe in fate?

Again, I don't know. I often use the phrase "it wasn't meant to be", but I don't know if I actually believe in that. Sometimes I think shit just happens.


60. Do you believe in the law of attraction?

Well I read The Secret.


61. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No I don't. I believe in lust at first sight. And I believe that you can fall in love with with someone within a couple weeks of meeting them, but not from standing across the room from each other.


62. Do you believe in true love?

Of course I do, because I've found mine. I do however believe that a person can have multiple loves throughout their life, but only one "love of their life".


63. Do you believe in gender equality?

Yes, I'm a feminist. Gender equality is common sense.


64. Are you pro-life or pro-choice?

Pro-choice. No one else should have any say in what a woman decides to do with her own body.


65. Do you believe in heaven/that there is peace after life?

I do not. I understand why people like to believe in it though. But considering I don't believe in a God, it'd be pretty contradictory if I believed in heaven.


66. What makes you angry about your country?

Our entire government. Brexit. Cuts to the NHS. The increase in homelessness. The shambles that is Universal credit. The fact that working class people aren't given a shit about because the conservatives are still running the show. I could go on, but I'm already enraged.


67. What is your opinion on 'Love is Love'?

Love IS love. If all parties give consent then who the fuck cares. Love doesn't know gender or race or religion or class - why close-minded people can't get their heads out of their asses long enough to see that, I have no idea.


68. What is your opinion on haters/trolls?

I can't stand them. I can't put into words how much it effects my own mental health just seeing the pathetic comments every day. I can't get my head around why people choose to spend their days leaving unwanted and uneducated comments across social media. Whether it be outright insults towards a person, unwanted comments that could be damaging but they hide behind "I'm just telling you this for your own benefit", or people that carry on like celebrities owe them explanations for every decision they make.


Social media brings the world closer together, but it doesn't mean everyone is entitled to comment on people's lives. I'm sick of seeing people throw the "free speech" shit about - you're not exercising your right to free speech, you're hiding behind it to make someone else feel like crap, who you probably don't know personally and who's decisions don't actually effect your life in any way.


If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. There's a difference between expressing your opinion and standing up for something you believe in, and then just outright bullying people for not living their life the way you think they should.


69. What are some challenges you think the next generation will have to face?

I hate to think. I truly do. I hope what we're fighting for right now (mental health awareness, gender equality, love is love, stopping racism, combating bullying) will get better. But if it doesn't, I dread to think about the society that children are being born into.


BLOGGING


70. What type of blogger are you in 3 words?

Honest. Compassionate. Uncensored.


71. What do you love about the blogging world/community?

That, for the most part, we create a warm and welcoming environment for people. We support each other and give each other a safe space to express themselves without judgement.


72. What do you hate about the blogging world/community?

The bloggers that are here for the wrong reasons can make the community pretty toxic. Just a few weeks ago I had to report a blogger on Twitter because he was sending abuse to women in the community. This coming from a man who said he was a mental health advocate. I hate that there's not much we can do about those people.


73. What challenges and negativity do bloggers face?

We're so underrated, misunderstood and undervalued. We work so hard, and have to put up with a lot of shit - and sometimes it feels like the benefits don't outweigh all of that. But at the end of the day, it's our passion and we can't quit.


NOMINEES

> Emma - Booking Good Read

> Sophie - soinspo

> Hannah - Made with Love

> Millie - MSB Life

> Yvonne - Randomly Creative

> Yule Times


If you want to take on the challenge but you weren't nominated, feel free! Just follow the rules up top.


Love, Han


xo



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