• Han Butler

How To Make Sure You're Still In A Relationship When Lock Down Is Over


Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

The current crisis is having a huge impact on all of our lives in many different ways, one of those ways being our relationships. Before lock down started we were given two options; move in with your partner, or isolate separately. No matter what option you chose, your relationship is vulnerable to problems right now. There's a worldwide pandemic going on and the majority of the world is isolating at home - this is new territory for us all, and we need to adjust to that to make sure our relationships don't suffer. I split this post in to two parts; for couples living together, and for couples who are living apart - these tips will apply to your relationship no matter how long you've been together.


HOW TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP WHEN LOCK DOWN IS OVER


FOR COUPLES LIVING TOGETHER


1. Communication is key


You're quite literally stuck together for at least the next couple of months, and I can absolutely guarantee that you'll get on each others nerves, often without even meaning to. It is vital that neither of you keep your feelings bottled up. Whether you're dealing with your own low mood or you're pissed off at something your partner is doing, you need to talk to them about it - and I mean talk, not shout at them.


The longer and the more things you bottle up, the bigger the explosion will be later down the line. You'll unload all of the shit in one huge argument and potentially change the strength and stability of your relationship.


2. Give each other space


Again, you're stuck with each other for months but that doesn't mean you have to live on top of each other the entire time. It's so important that you both give each other the space you need, and even more important that you be considerate and respectful of your partners need for space.


3. Share responsibilities


You're both living in the same house, both eating food from the same kitchen, both using the same bathroom - it is both of your responsibilities to clean and shop for essentials. Even if one of you is working from home whilst the other is just pottering about, you can still share responsibilities - there is no excuse to assume your partner will do all of the house work.


4. "Go" on dates


Okay so you can't literally go on dates, but you can still date from home. I fully believe that no matter how long you've been with your partner, you should never stop dating each other. Get out of your lounge wear and get dressed up, and enjoy a candle lit dinner or a picnic in the garden. Use your dates as an opportunity to bring some normality and happiness into your relationship during this time.


Bonus tip: Don't kill each other.


FOR COUPLES LIVING APART


1. Text, Call, FaceTime


My boyfriend and I are isolating with our own families right now and I've never been more grateful for technology in my entire life. Honestly right now, phones are the most vital thing in your relationship.


2. Reassure each other


Being away from your partner for so long if you're used to seeing them regularly, will be incredibly hard emotionally. You may worry about the strength of your relationship, so it's important that if one of you is feeling insecure, that the other continues to be reassuring. Let them know how much you love them, how much you miss them, and that you're going to be waiting for them when all of this is over.


3. Have virtual dates


You may be apart but that doesn't mean you have to stop dating each other. Eat together over video call, watch Netflix together, play games together etc. Get out of your heads for a while and just be together...virtually.


Bonus tip: Plan together the things you'll do once you're reunited


How are you and your partner handling the lock down?


Love, Han


xo



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