• Han Butler

Poetry with Han: Living With Toxicity

Updated: Sep 17, 2019


Photo by Kat Jayne

#PoetryWithHan


LIVING WITH TOXICITY


I can't recall a time when I haven't lived with toxicity.


I grew up in a house where I had to be the parent emotionally.

I was given a roof,

And with it the responsibility of keeping the house together.

I was given food,

And with it the responsibility of feeding their ego's.

I was given water to bathe,

And with it the responsibility of being their carer.


I grew up in a house where I couldn't be me.

I was given a sketch pencil,

Only to be told I would fail.

I was given a mirror,

Only to be told I was ugly.

I was given a dress,

Only to be told I was slutty.


I can't recall a time when I haven't lived with toxicity.


I live in a house where I don't matter.

I'm given a smile,

Only to be made to feel unhappy.

I'm given a hug,

Only to be made to feel unwanted.

I'm given an apology,

Only to be made to feel hurt.


I live in a house where I've lost myself.

I'm never insulted,

Yet I feel shamed.

I'm surrounded by people,

Yet I feel alone.

I'm free to come and go,

Yet I feel trapped.


I can't recall a time when I haven't lived with toxicity.


Am I the toxicity?


- Han



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