• Han Butler

9 Toxic People You Need To Cut Out Of Your Life


Photo by Pete Johnson

We're fast approaching the end of the year and the start of 2020, a lot of us are hoping to reinvent ourselves, or work towards a happier version of ourselves and our lives - and that's amazing, I think we should definitely pursue the people we want to be and the life that we want to live. But if you're about to enter a new year with the same toxic people in your life, then you won't make any of the improvements that you want to make. Toxicity brings you down; it stunts your personal growth and drains all of your energy and determination.


I know it can be difficult to cut people loose from your life, especially if they have been with you for a long time, but it's something that needs to happen. You don't deserve to be trapped by people who, in the end, don't really give a fuck about you. You deserve to be surrounded by people who get you, who love you, who support you, and who inspire you. You have to look after number 1, and in case the people in your life haven't made this clear - you are number 1. If you're struggling to work out whether you have toxic people in your life, read on to learn about the 9 types of people that you definitely shouldn't keep around.


9 TOXIC PEOPLE YOU NEED TO CUT OUT OF YOUR LIFE


THE GOSSIP


Gossipers get a kick out of other people's misfortunes, and they're well aware that people are always quick to believe the bad things they hear about good people. If you have a friend that is constantly gossiping about everyone else's life, I can guarantee that you have also been given the same label by association.


Gossips don't have a strict code, which means no one is off limits. Chances are, if they gossip to you then they also gossip about you. That is not the type of person you want in your life. You should want to surround yourself with people who talk about dreams, ideas and plans, not other people.


THE CRITIC AND THE JUDGEMENTAL


Judgemental people are one of the worst kinds. No matter what you do, they will always find something to criticise. They will make you believe everything you do and everything that you are is wrong. They'll even turn your passions into something that you should be embarrassed about. Without realising it, you end up becoming determined to get praise from them, because suddenly their opinion is the only one that matters. In actual fact, your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters.


Eventually you'll find yourself incapable of being your true self around them because you'll constantly be waiting for their next unwanted critique. You don't need a person like that in your life. So it's vital that you remove that kind of toxicity...if you can. I say "if you can" because I've managed to remove all but one critic from my life - my mum.


THE TEMPERAMENTAL


Do you have a friend who you constantly have to walk on egg shells around in case you tick them off? Yep that's a temperamental ticking time bomb right there; their moods can change in a matter of seconds. They project their feelings on to you and lash out, somehow making it seem like you caused the emotional outburst.


No one drains your energy like a temperamental person does. You'll often find yourself feeling sorry for them, but it is not your job to keep their emotions in check. Short-fused people use you as their personal emotional punch bag. Get out now while you can!


THE ARROGANT


You can spot arrogance from a mile away. They walk around like they're a gift from 'God', but it's an act. It's all fake. They've gone so far in trying to mask their insecurities, that they've become the biggest dickhead of them all. Simply put, arrogance is used by the weak. They're a complete waste of your time and don't contribute anything to a relationship.


THE VICTIM


Do you know someone that seems to be in a constant time of need? That is not someone you want to be around. You may have noticed that through every "tough time" they never use it as an instrument for growth and strength, instead they just lay down and milk every second of it. They're the victim and nothing will ever be their fault. They're experts at the blame game.


Typically people with a constant victim mentality will eventually start to present a selfish behaviour and will show a sense of entitlement. So if I were you I'd get out now and don't look back. I should warn you though, that the minute they notice you distancing yourself, they will most definitely try emotionally blackmailing you. Don't fall for it; you know they're a pro at that shit.


THE TIME WASTER


You know the kind I mean, the self-absorbed time waster who constantly needs your attention; stopping you from, not only having quality you-time, but also from developing your passions and growing as a person.


Time wasters can seriously drain your energy, so much so that even when they're not there, you're too tired to do anything remotely productive. They take up your time and you gain absolutely nothing in return.


THE NEGATIVE NANCY


I've often found myself around angry and unhappy people and it sucks the life out of me. Being around someone so negative 24/7 became detrimental to my mental health, so I know how important it is to get away from those kind of people. In my case, I live with him and he's family so I can't cut him out of my life. I have, however, distanced myself from as many negative people as I could, and I really recommend that you do the same.


THE MANIPULATOR


The manipulator is going to be a tricky "friend" to cut out of your life. They know how to work you so that they get what they want from you, without giving anything in return. If you have a manipulator in your life, disconnect from them straight away. They're insanely toxic.


THE ENVIOUS


Do you have someone in your life who is constantly jealous of you and others? That's not a good thing. If they're always jealous, that means they'll never be truly happy for you in life. As time passes you'll gradually start to feel their jealousy - you don't need that. Surround yourself with people that will support you and celebrate your successes.



I wish you a toxic free New Year.


Love, Han


xo



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